Guide for Participants

What to Expect

If you have been referred to a restorative process, you may be feeling anxious, confused, or wary. All of this is perfectly normal. Whether you are experiencing a conflict with someone, have experienced harm or impacted others, or are supporting someone involved, our priority is to provide a safe, respectful, and private space for you.

We are independent practitioners. We are not here to judge you, blame you, or force you into an uncomfortable situation. We are here to help find a healthy path forward. If you have urgent questions or anxieties, you can reach out directly to your assigned facilitator or contact us at info@aspenrc.com.

Every process we facilitate is anchored by three strict rules:

  1. It is 100% Voluntary. You are never forced to participate, and you can pause, change the format, or completely withdraw from the process at any moment, for any reason, without penalty.

  2. It is Strictly Confidential. What is said in our private preparation meetings and during the process stays between us. It is "without prejudice," meaning it cannot be used as evidence in formal HR disciplinary tracks or external legal proceedings.

  3. You Have Veto Power. A restorative process is designed with you, not forced upon you. You have total control over what you choose to share, what you agree to, and how you engage. We believe in repairing harm, not causing more.

The Process

We never throw people into a room together and hope for the best. Every process is carefully and deliberately planned over three distinct phases:

Intake and Preparation

You will meet one-on-one with an ARC facilitator for a private, confidential conversation. You will have the space to share what happened from your perspective, how you have been affected, and what you need to feel safe and supported. Together with your facilitator, you will look at options for moving forward. We will evaluate whether a joint process is safe, viable, and helpful for you. If it is, we map out exactly what that will look like. If it isn't, we stop or pivot to a different type of support.

Build Understanding & Acknowledge Impacts

If everyone agrees to move forward, the restorative process takes place. This does not have to be a face-to-face meeting. Depending on what you need to feel safe, it could be: a structured, facilitated dialogue in a private room or online space, a "shuttle" process where the facilitator passes messages and reflections back and forth between parties separately, or a supported written/video exchange or a letter-writing process.

Our aim here is not to determine fault or blame. We recognise that everyone will have a different story to tell and all authentically held perspectives are valid. Each person will have an opportunity to speak and to be heard. You will have the chance to ask questions. The goal is to build a shared understanding of all perspectives on what’s happened and on its impacts.

Repair & Prevention

The process concludes by focusing on the future. If appropriate, a concrete set of agreements or “Repair Plan” is created. This plan documents agreed-upon steps to address practical needs, emotional support, behavioral alignments, or systemic changes to ensure the harm or friction doesn't happen again. With the consent of all participants, you may choose to share this plan with others (like your manager, HR, or a friend who can keep you accountable) so they can support you to implement it.

Restorative Processes are intended to help meet your needs. The process can be adapted in many ways to make it work for you.

Bring Your Support System

You do not have to go through this alone. You are welcome to bring a support person to every meeting, including your initial private intake. Your support person can be anyone who makes you feel grounded and safe. Their role is to sit beside you, support your well-being, and help you process the conversations. Ideally, they are not directly personally involved in the situation at hand.

FAQs

  • We find that face-to-face processes are the most preferred, and often the most transformative for participants. However, we know that this isn’t true for every case. We work with you to design a process that suits your needs, which could instead include online meetings or other indirect processes such as letter-writing, or separate shuttle-mediation. The process is flexible to meet your needs, and can change as your needs evolve.

  • Anything you say to a facilitator is held confidential. Your information remains entirely in your hands, and we do not write reports on what was shared within a process unless specifically directed by you, and agreed by all parties.

  • A restorative process does not prevent you from pursuing a standard HR or legal pathway if you choose to stop. Depending on your situation, this is a great question to ask your referring person (your HR advisor, manager, etc.). We can talk through these concerns together, and your facilitator can help you make a plan.

  • As long as it needs! We can meet as many times as you need in order to feel prepared, and we can revisit facilitations as needed, too. It is our objective to meet your needs, not to pigeonhole you into our process.

    Most cases can be resolved within 1-2 meetings, but your facilitator will be able to discuss expectations once they hear more about what’s happening.

    Because every human dynamic is unique, there is no fixed timeline. A mediation might take a few weeks from start to finish, while a complex organizational incident involving deep harm or public pressure may take several months of careful, staged preparation. We move at the speed of safety.

Watch Haley Farrar describe the process here.